Marion Philippe
English 8
Mr. Salsich
01-13-10
"I Have a Dream":
The Theme ‘Desire’ Throughout To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life
As you look through To Kill a Mockingbird, you will find many hidden themes, like desires. It all started in the early chapters when Scout wanted to build a snowman but wasn’t allowed. She persuaded the adults until they said, "Yes," and when she got outdoors, the snow was all slushy. However, with a little mud and sand, she and Jem made their desires come true. Also, when Atticus had the desire to win the trial, he brought out the worst in Mr. Gilmer. All the hatred towards Tom Robinson was hard to stand and it made Dill see the reality right in front of him. Because of Atticus’s desires, “[…] Dill started crying and couldn’t stop; quietly his sobs were heard by several people in the balcony,” therefore, Scout had to take him outside where they met Dolphus Raymond. Lastly, when Mayella started to tell her side of the story, Atticus had the desire to burst her bubble so she would tell the truth. Mayella's bruises indicated that only a left handed man would have done this to her, which could not have been Tom Robinson. Also, she says that she had never invited Tom Robinson into her house although some proof has been found that she has. From the beginning to the end, Scout, Jem and Atticus all have desires; some of them were painful to others but some of them were worth hanging on to.
There are many hidden examples of desires throughout To Kill a Mockingbird and also throughout my life. For example, every time I have a test or a quiz, I have the desire to succeed. Although some tests are harder than others, “if you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it,” (Brendan Francis). To me, this means that every minute spent on studying, you get one step closer to obtaining your goal. There are times when you get nothing, but there might be times where all the guts that you spent will pay off. Also, I have the desire to help others when they are in need. A day ago, an earthquake shook in Haiti and hundreds of thousands died and others were left homeless. Although I cannot go over there, my family and I called and donated money to help the ones who are desperate for help. Even though it is just a small act, my desires are going to help someone who is less fortunate and that will benefit from them. All the small, hidden themes that are in a book or in your life are important to others but most importantly to yourself.
In your first sentence, I don't think that you should say "including". I just don't think that it flows well. Maybe if you got rid of the comma and said "like disires"
ReplyDeleteIn your second supporting detail, you need to make it clear right away what he wants to win. Someone may have to stop and think what you are talking about.
Great job staying unified throughout your essay
1. When you say "Atticus had the desire to win," do you mean he had the desire to win the case? A game of checkers? It would be no match for Atticus; he'd win for sure. :)
ReplyDelete2. Just a small detail--your text size in the second paragraph decreased from the first. It's a lot easier on the eyes to have the text the same size, but the text used in the second portion was also small. If I had to read a book with that small text size, it would make me really sleepy.
3. I think your first paragraph is very unified. It also flows nicely. Great job!
In your second sentence you switch between present tense (starts) and past tense (wanted and wasn't)
ReplyDeleteI don't think the last sentence in your first paragraph really summarizes it. I think you have a pretty good paragraph, and the last sentence sould be just as good.
As I mentioned in my second comment, I think your first paragraph is beautiffully written-- nice job!!