Essay 12: Final Draft

Marion Philippe

Mr. Salsich

English 8

01-24-10

Danger Zone:

An Essay About Danger in To Kill a Mockingbird and My Life

TS: In a lifetime, one will experience danger. CM: You do not know when it happens because “as soon as there is life, there is danger,” (Ralph Waldo Emerson). CM: Some of us see danger as a sign to live life to the fullest, but some of us hide forever from danger. CS: As found throughout life, danger can also occur in a book.

TS: The quote from chapter 22 of To Kill a Mockingbird, “There’s danger a’ comin’,” relates to the novel and myself. SD: Even though Atticus lost in the trial trying to defend Tom Robinson, danger was coming his way when “[…] Mr. Bob Ewell stopped Atticus on the post office corner, spat on his face, and told him he’d get him if it took the rest of his life.” CM: Atticus just laughed it off; meanwhile, Jem and Scout were dazed and confused about the situation. CM: They were afraid that if Atticus was taken away from them, Alexandra, their aunt, would have to take care of them. SD: In addition , “there’s danger a’ comin’,” when Tim Johnson, a mad dog, was making its way towards Maycomb’s people. CM: Tim Johnson, walking “[…] erratically, as if his right legs were shorter than his left legs,” was a speck at first but then turned out to be a threat (participle S-V split). CM: Later, Atticus had to shoot the mad dog even though he hadn’t “shot a gun in thirty years.” SD: Likewise, there is danger in my life. CM: As I grow up, I get to have more responsibilities and more experiences, which means more danger because of all the mistakes that I will make. CM: As I try not to become too dangerous to myself, new mistakes will come and I will have to learn from my parents and myself how to overcome them, just like Atticus teaches Jem and Scout to overcome the mistakes they might have made in the past. CS: Danger is ever present in life and even in a book; we can sometimes try to prevent it, but one will experience it during his or her lifetime.

TS: From Atticus running into danger by fighting in the trial to me making mistakes, danger plays a big role in someone’s life. CM: When Atticus wanted to help, he knew he was headed towards danger. CM: When I am growing up, I know that there will be danger every chapter of my life. CS: But all we can do is wait and keep our minds open to whatever could happen next.

　

Essay 12 Paragraph Self Evaluation:

-For me, coming up with an idea and making the writing flow were the two things that took the longest to write the paragraph. Even though I could’ve just written short sentences with basic words, I tried to mix long and short sentences with transitions.

-At the beginning, I wrote the paragraph and skimmed through it to see the big mistakes. But then as the days went on, I looked at every detail and tried to cut out unnecessary and unnecessary punctuation.

-I thought that all the quotes that I put in were the best part of the paragraph. First of all, I liked how I used a small quote for my idea and then using longer ones to fit into the sentences.

-Some small words might need to be taken out and one of my SD’s could be a bit clearer. But otherwise, after taking a look at my paragraph, I think that it is a big improvement from the beginning of the year.