Marion Philippe
English 8
Mr. Salsich
10-07-09
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions:
An Essay of How Atticus Feels About Education
#1: To some people, education is just another obstacle we have to come across. #2: However, wherever we are, whether it’s in the streets or in school, we should always be learning something. #3: Education makes us who we are. #4: In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee writes about a character who shows one of the true meanings of education.
TS: In the ending of chapter three of To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee brings up Atticus, a well educated man, into the picture (app. S-V Split). SD: To Atticus education is more than just numbers and letters. CM: At one point, Scout and Atticus are sitting on the front porch talking about education when Atticus says, “if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along better with all kinds of folks.” (Lee,39). CM: Furthermore, this 'trick' is courtesy and respect, which is exactly what Calpurnia was trying to teach Scout in chapter three. SD: Also, Atticus wants Scout to realize that it does matter where you get an education. CM: Scout said, “ You can teach me[…]” but Atticus replied, “No I can’t,” (Lee,39) which means that even though Atticus got home schooled when he was a kid, it would be better to have teacher with experience. CM: Atticus is also trying to teach Scout that even though she has a lot of knowledge, she should listen to Atticus because he has had far more experience than her. SD: Lastly, Atticus also has to teach Scout that education always comes with obstacles. CM: For example, Scout has to face Ms. Caroline, who has a very different way of teaching. CM: If Scout can overcome the obstacles, she is headed towards a great education. CS: If Atticus can teach Scout, imagine what school can teach her?
TS: Atticus and I can relate because education has played a big part in our lives. SD: Atticus encouraged Scout to go to school, my family encourages me to go back to school every day. CM: If no one is pushing you, than it feels like nobody cares about what you're doing with your life. CM: However, with the encouragement that I’m getting, it helps me push myself further. SD: As I see my sister today, I wonder, “Can I ever go on the same path as her?” CM: I think there should always be a role model that you should follow because it helps you set a goal, which will set a path for you to follow. CM: No matter how many ups or downs my sister faced, I learned that it is okay and that at least you succeed in your mind. SD: Lastly, I feel as if education teaches you more than just letters and numbers, for example, confidence. CM: Through my education I learned responsibility and time management, which gave me more confidence for the future. CM: Everyday I go to school, trying to take on more responsibilities to boost my confidence more every single day. (Participle) CS: If Scout learns from her father Atticus, than we should be able to learn from ours too.
#1: Education is the most important skill to have in life. #2: We should have education not only to learn everyday lessons but also to learn life lessons. #3: Even though there are many ups and downs, we should always fight through them or else what would happen? #4: Atticus and I are just two humans that think education is great, how about you?
Marion, in this sentence -- "When Atticus encouraged Scout to go to school, my family encourage me to go back to school every day" -- it might be better to leave out "When" and just say "Atticus encouraged [...], and my family encouraged [...]
ReplyDeleteAlso, "your doing" should be "you're doing".
GOOD LUCK!
1. I would omit the comma in the fourth sentence in the introductory paragraph.
ReplyDelete2. In the topic sentence of your second body paragraph, you should say "big part" instead of "big parts" since you preceded this statement with "a."
3. You used some long sentences and some shorter sentences, which made the essay more interesting to read. Nice job!
Try making the font size a little bigger because it is a little hard to read.
ReplyDeleteLable your "special" sentences
Good openning paragraph
In your first TS, the word "up" is not necessary.
ReplyDeleteIn your first CM, I think you should either get rid of "For example," or "at one point".
I think your topic sentence in your first paragraph is well written, has no extra words, and catches the readers attention. GOOD JOB!